In the beginning.. part 2

In case you missed the first part of my favorite story ever you can read it here:

http://ejfosterfamily.blogspot.com/2015/09/in-beginning-part-1.html

Now we left off at Judson and I having our first kiss. I had been trying really hard to NOT fall for this guy. I feel like it's necessary that I give the world a visual of what Judson looked like back then. I'm not exaggerating when I say LONG HAIRED AND CRAZY.

but still cute.

But again, where we left off... Judson and I had been walking and talking EVERY night for almost two weeks now and that in itself has made him become one of my best friends. We just clicked. We were able to talk and talk about EVERYTHING and it just worked and it made us both happy.

Now WHY did I screen shot these kinds of things and JOURNAL THEM!? I don't know. I just don't know what's wrong with me. But I am so thankful I did because as years pass you forget little things said here or there and now I don't ever have to forget.

So we kissed. And I really liked it. I really liked him but I didn't want to. So now I was working on convincing myself that this was just going to be a really fun summer fling. I could admittedly like him because it's a summer fling! No big deal. NO BIG DEAL.

And here's the thing too I was going places this summer! Literally. I was going to Seattle to run a half marathon and then I was going to Germany for a mission trip for 3 weeks. So nothing "REAL" could come of this. We were having fun and it was fun.

The thing was is that Judson's intentions were not just to have a summer fling with me. If I was being honest at all about what my heart was telling me I would tell you mine weren't either but I just wouldn't let myself be vulnerable to all that yet. Flings don't have consequences if they don't work out (I was telling myself).

So that's how the whole month of May went, we having a lot of fun and were pretty much inseparable. Which if you know us at all you could agree that's basically still how we are now - inseparable. Then June came and my heart just kept falling more and more and more which was making me try to deny that fact more and more.

See that little heart up in the corner there? That's because on June 8th I knew I loved Judson. Not like, oh he's so cute and fun and I love ya bro kind of love. I mean I knew I LOVED him and he was it. Of course I was not going to speak those words at all to anyone! And didn't for a long time!

Then on June 14th we had our first fight.

I was about to start all my traveling and be away from basically a month from Abilene/Judson. I didn't know where we stood and that made me uneasy about leaving. I wasn't his girlfriend so he could talk to/dance with/go on walks with whoever he wanted to while I was gone but the thought of that made my stomach get in knots. Of course, being the stubborn person I am, I wanted the upper hand though. I didn't want him to know that I was insecure about leaving! So when we were hanging out my house that day I said something to him like "You're the best summer fling I've ever had so far" and the look on his face I'll never forget. I knew what I said hurt him and I immediately wanted to take it back. He just kind of blew it off and then shortly left after that. Ugh! Why do I do these things!?

I got ready for a night of dancing with my friends and he was going to Guitars too. He texted me before saying something like "Just so you know, I'm not comfortable kissing in public." KNIFE TO THE HEART. So I said "Who said I want to kiss you in public?" and then we saw each other at Guitars. It was kind of uncomfortable, we tried to just act like nothing was bothering either one of us. We were at a table of people and he said something like, "We're just friends, right Elizabeth?" and my heart sunk. That's what I wanted wasn't it!? Him saying it was the worst thing I'd ever heard. So I was so rude to him and ignored him the rest of the night. He finally pulled me aside and he showed where he had put in his notes a month ago "I know she's the one" and said "Do you think I would write that if I thought we were just friends?" I could not BELIEVE he wrote that about me! And there was no lying that he did it a month ago the date was on there! Then, in front of everyone (after he told me he's not comfortable kissing in public), he picked me up and kissed me! So we stopped fighting. :)

I went off to Seattle and ran my half marathon but we didn't talk a whole lot. Long story short I broke my foot running and Taylor, my roommate, wanted to come stay in Graham with me and then she had tickets to the Rangers game. WELL, GUESS WHO TAGGED ALONG WITH HER!? Judson! He met my parents for the first time, long hair and all, then stayed the night at my parents house! While my best friend and I are in the other room. Brave guy.

Pretty much right after that I left for my 3 weeks in Germany with a 12 hour time difference. I was again nervous about it because Judson and I still hadn't declared that we were exclusive per my request. I went to Abilene for one night before I left and he wrote me an adorable acrostic poem.

He assured me that he wasn't going anywhere while I was going to be gone and that we could pick up right where we left off when I got back. If we can't talk a lot, it's no big deal, he'll be there when I get back. Which sounds nice, but when you have met the person you love and you aren't even really his girlfriend yet and you're leaving the country - it's really hard on the heart.

I wrote him letters to open for everyday I was gone and we facebook messaged every day, he would wake up in the middle of the night to message me across the world. They almost always ended with "I like you so much".

"I hope you're still my friend then" haha meaning I HOPE WE'RE STILL TOGETHER THEN. Oh, and that song he told me to listen to at the end, is now the song playing in our wedding video preview. :) which you should go watch here:

http://candlelightfilms.com/elizabeth-judson/



Now when I got BACK from Germany is another part of the story... To be continued...

In the beginning.. part 1

Last night I had a dream about the first couple of dates that Judson and I went on then all of the sudden BARK BARK BARK! My dogs needed to go out and woke me up.

You know when you woke up too early from a good dream and you just lay there and try to force yourself to fall back asleep and start dreaming again at the same moment you woke up from? Well, I was doing that. Then I realized, how about I just lay here and actually just use my memory about the beginning of Judson and I. I can't remember the last time I thought about these times, it's been a loooong time. Maybe it was because yesterday my sister in law posted about her and Koby in the beginning of their marriage or maybe it's because I had a picture from when we were dating 4 years ago on my timehop yesterday morning, or because last night was bid night and crazzzzzy things happen on EOX bid night - but regardless, here I am looking back to the beginning of when my Judson came into the picture.

The year 2011 wasn't a great year for me. First of all, I was fat and hadn't had a haircut in months so I constantly LOOKED like it wasn't a great year for me (so much for faking it till you make it). But overall, it was just a hard year of hard lessons I needed to learn but it sucked learning them. Therefore I declared 2012 THE YEAR OF ME. I lost some weight, got a cute haircut and some new clothes, and I was ready to finish my junior year of college and start my senior year with a bang! So, since it was THE YEAR OF ME I decided to journal things that happened everyday because everyday was going to be GREAT. Now journaling a sentence or two about what happened that day either makes me really lame or a real genius because now I have this awesome keepsake from a really special time in my life. SO since I journaled I will be cross referencing that with my actual memory. This is my favorite story EVER so sit back and prepare yourself.

Here's where it all started. Junior year of college ended and I had kind of come to terms with the fact I'm not going to meet my future husband at ACU. I talked to God and came to an agreement that it was okay and I needed to stop forcing it to happen. So I ended my junior year with this mindset. The next day pretty much all of ACU went out to a place called Guitars which is basically a bar with lots of country dancing and then to a Josh Abbott concert down the road at another place. Judson was kind of just following me around when we were at Guitars. Whatever group of people I was standing with talking to he just popped up in there. He asked me to dance a couple of times and of course I did. I had known Judson for a couple of years we had classes together and studied together before so he wasn't a stranger to me, but I was like dude what are you doing? I even asked one of our good mutual friends "Why is Judson following me around all night?" (who later I found out he texted this friend the night before and said "You need to help get Elizabeth and I together, she's hot" ROMANTIC)

After that night he was texting me a lot the next day which was graduation day. We both had roommates graduating and we would talk about that. I also learned this day that we actually lived down the street from each other in our college houses. WHO KNEW?! So after Farren's graduation party at our house he and some mutual friends came and picked me up to go to his house for his roommates graduation party, but it was basically all stupid college boys and I was not impressed. So I said something along the lines of "I think I'm just going to walk back home" and clearly disappointed this didn't turn out how he wanted it to, he said "I'll walk you! You don't need to walk alone down the street to your house" I kept on insisting I would be fine but NO this chivalry would not DIE! So he walked me home and we sat outside on the porch swing and talked for a while. Then we decided to walk over to ACU which was like 50 ft away from my house and walk around the Lunsford trail. We talked and talked - nothing flirting or romantic - I was NOT interested in that nor with this crazy, long haired, college boy. In fact I kind of told him that we both suck at relationships because we force things to be there that isn't there (talking about our pasts). So, for me, sparks weren't flying yet. But we continued to walk and talk every night around ACU for the next couple of days.

 Then one night he asked me to walk and I said sorry I can't I have to study for a test tomorrow in summer school and he said something along the lines of, "Well you know, I'm going to be a teacher too so I'm really good at helping people study." HA! So he came over and literally I just made him quiz me with my flash cards - poor guy. After studying for probably an hour and a half or so I gave in and we went on our daily evening walk around ACU. BUT I BROUGHT MY FLASH CARDS. See, I stick to my guns.

On this day he invited me to trespass to an apartment complex pool and swim with a bunch of his guy friends - so of course I forced my friend HP to go with me! I wasn't doing that alone!! I think at this point I started being more drawn to the idea of having a crush on him because I straightened my hair before I went to the pool... and he DUNKED me under water. UGH! Also, the song by Eric Church starting playing "I love your love the most" and he was kind of singing it so I said COMPLETELY JOKING "Is this song about me?" thinking he would laugh and be like NO YOU HILARIOUS PERSON! but instead he said "Not yet." and winked at me. Um.. yeah. I had a crush now. Dang it.
We went on a walk that night like we had every night for a week and this time while I was talking he just reached over and grabbed my hand. AHWIWTYOWIYRUSEHJ!!!!! Oh my gosh. I felt like a junior high girl at the movies all over again! HE HELD MY HAND! AND KEPT HOLDING IT. in my head I kept trying to convince myself "it's fine. friends hold hands. this doesn't mean anything. oh my gosh he's cute. NO. he's not! he's my friend. my good friend. AHHH!!!" So he walked me back home STILL HOLDING MY HAND and we side hugged goodnight and I ran up the stairs to my room as giddy as could be! He also really liked this night because he put this in the notes of his phone after our walk

SWOON.


The next day he texted me in the morning and said "Good morning pretty girl" WHAT!? Now my good friend is calling me PRETTY GIRL!!??! But I like it.. so.. okay. He can call me that. I GUESS. I went about my day business as usual and then he CALLED me, not texted where I could have done a better job of denying him, and he said "Can I take you on a date today? Like in 15 minutes? I'll walk to your house and pick you up. You just need to wear something comfortable, I'm not going to take you on your typical first date." My heart was POUNDING and I said, um.. Sure! Okay. I'll see you in 15 minutes.

I wore Nike shorts, a T-Shirt, and Chacos on that first date and he showed up wearing pretty much the same thing except a boy version of Nike shorts. hehehe. He had on a backpack and said "Alright, are you ready? We're going on a hike!" So off we went to "hike" the backwoods behind one of ACU's dorms. Oh, and he HELD MY HAND while we were walking. There is a tree house back there and we climbed to the top and he had water for us to drink because it was summer in Abilene and I'm sweating like a pig on this "first date". He also brought a sharpie for us to write on the tree house our names.

We sat up there and talked like we had for 100+ hours already lately. I would be talking and looking at him and he would start shaking his head and I would say "WHAT?" and he said "I'm not going to kiss you on our first date. I'm not going to be THAT guy." And I would just completely blow off that he just said anything about kissing me and kept on talking. That same scenario happened 3 or 4 times during that talk. We finally climbed down and started heading home, holding hands and all... we were on this really pretty, tree covered path and he stopped me and looked at me for what felt like 30 minutes without saying anything and then he leaned in to kiss me!!! And I? Well.. I turned my head away hahaha. But he made it happen anyways! And there it was - we had our first kiss. And I think both of us knew that we would never kiss anyone else again for the rest of our lives after it happened but we wouldn't dare say that to each other.

Eventually we took some engagement pictures at that special spot.

Now I get to kiss him anytime I want. :)

Well this beginning story is far from being over, we did NOT just hit the ground running being boyfriend and girlfriend after this moment. To be continued...

Thoughts and feels on working with your spouse

Judson and I not only have the same career of teaching, but we also work about 50 feet away from each other every day.

My students all know exactly who my husband is, and his students know exactly who I am. They see us both every day. Our students hear us say "I love you, have a good day." to each other every morning in the hallway. We eat lunch together every single day. We ride to school together in the mornings. Our professional lives are completely entangled together. 

I used to think this isn't really that big of a deal. I mean it's cool and all, but Judson and I have always had our relationship be connected in multiple aspects. We became friends because we sat next to each other in our first education class at ACU. When we were dating and engaged we helped each other on assignments and took classes together. 

More recently, though, I've realized just how unique and special and wonderful it is to work with your spouse.

When school first started and I was SO unexplainably nervous - he was right there.

When I'm having a hard day and every thing feels like it's going wrong - I can walk right down the hallway and get a hug.

When I get home at night but things of the day are still weighing on me - he understands perfectly how it feels.

We can share snacks that we have in our desks when we are starving.

We can compare out fitbit steps while passing each other in the hallway! #competition

We can lean on each other about what parent contact sheet needs to be filled out by next friday and when we need our 6 weeks grades need to be posted. Turning lesson plans in on time, creating a good STAAR review, what fun activities can we do in class. 

We also get to see each other live out our passions. We get to watch each other succeed first hand. Let me tell you something, I thought Judson was pretty great before we started our careers - but now I think I start glowing when I watch him do his thing. I am so proud of the man I married.

I know someday we won't work right down the hall from each other. I know the subject we teach or the grade we teach will change as the years go by. 

I will never forget this year.

This year has been so foundational to our marriage. So foundational to our friendship. So foundational to our careers. 

So no matter what comes our way, I am so thankful that the Lord gave us this opportunity to bond in a way that most marriages never get the chance to. 

Also, it's just a bonus that I'm basically living out my dream to be Jim and Pam from The Office.

Who owns the internet?

As everyone knows, I am a school teacher. I take my job very seriously.
Not because I think that having 10 and 11 year olds know about graphing linear equations on a coordinate plane is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER.
Not because my self worth is going to be determined from the outcome of their STAAR tests.
I take my job seriously because having the opportunity to forever impact 51 small lives is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER. So, even though it is in my job description and requirements to educate the youth about math, that's not my passion. My passion is making a difference. My passion is changing lives. My passion is changing the world.

When days aren't jam packed full with WHAT IS 9 x 3/4?! and IS 97 A PRIME OR COMPOSITE NUMBER!? I get to have rare and special moments to really talk to my kids about life.

Today was one of those days.

Today was Friday and the whole state of Texas was having a snow day today except for us, so I let my kids have some free time at the end of school. All my kids have their own laptop, yes you read that right, ALL my 5th grade CHILDREN have their own laptops that are school issued. Macbook laptops. So of course during free time they choose to play games on their laptops. Well today one of my students decided to google themselves. (Don't worry guys, we have a filter on our school internet that only lets appropriate content show on google)

When they typed in their name to google, guess what popped up? Pictures of them.

The student screamed, "AHH!! I HAVE A STALKER!! SOMEONE TOOK SCREEN SHOTS OF MY INSTAGRAM PHOTOS AND SENT THEM TO GOOGLE!!"

I went over and looked and said, "No sweetheart, those are just your Instagram photos."

Students says, "How did google find them!? They don't follow me on Instagram."

My eye twitched a little at the lack of education that our youth has on the power of the internet, yet it is so interwoven into their lives. It sits in their pocket every day on their smart phones. But I had all the ears of the 20 kids in my classroom at the time so I seized the moment.


I said, "Listen kids, when you accept those really long terms of agreement on all those apps you have that none of you read, you are accepting that those companies own your pictures. They can do whatever they want with them."

Blank stares…

Student, "Um… can they see what we send on snap chat?"

Me, "YES. Just because the picture disappears when you send it someone doesn't mean that the company of Snapchat didn't store it in their database. (Don't call the FBI on me, I don't actually know if that is true. But when you have young minds listening to you and what you say could make the difference between them making a good decision and a bad decision, you say what you gotta say.) Plus you take the risk every time that the person you send your snap chat to might screen shot your picture."

Blank stares….

So then I say, "And don't even get me started on Facebook! There are ways strangers can find your information that even adults don't understand. Whatever you share can be shared across the country if people wanted to. Even across the world! News travels faster than you can imagine on the internet."

Another student says, "If we delete our accounts, then are we safe?"

Another student, "So social media is really just people following all of us?!"

Another student, "Who's doing this to us!? WHO OWNS THE INTERNET!?!"

I then realize, okay maybe I went a little too intense with this. HEY! I'm still trying to figure out the pros/cons to social media myself. So I told them that I have an Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat and I enjoy those apps! It's fun to have a community and share positive things as well as get to stay connected with friends. You just have to be careful. Don't post things you wouldn't mind the whole world seeing. And then I lovingly told them all don't you dare try to look me up because I won't accept any of your friend requests until you have a college degree. 

After this long discussion I had multiple students tell me, "Thank you for telling us this stuff, Mrs. Foster"

Teaching has taught me so much about parenting. This is the world my own children will grow up in. They won't know a day with out the internet and you better believe I'll have my babies faces plastered all over social media. So what is the right thing to tell our youth? What is safe? What boundaries should minors have when it comes to the internet?

I enjoy social media to stay connected to my family and friends because I don't live anywhere near them. I enjoy sharing positive things, that could help someone. I enjoy reading positive things/funny things. How could I teach my kids the power in social media and that they have the ability to do GREAT things through it, but also teach them to be cautious to its dangers?

How can we teach our young ones to change the world through this powerful internet that we have?

running; not walking

As I've declared already, I'm running a half marathon onApril 26th. Training for something like this when your fitness base started out at basically ground zero is just as mentally challenging as it is physically. Today I did my long run for the week which was 4 miles.

During my runs I have one enemy - Walking. 

It's always there. Tempting me. It's weighing down my feet and whispering in my ear. I run past walkers and fantasize how much easier they must have it right now. As my body aches and my lungs burn, I play a mind game with myself.

"What if I just walk for a second. Just a few steps. That wouldn't be so bad, would it?"

Then a stronger voice within me says NO. Don't stop. Not for one second. Keep going. Keep pushing.  It will be worth it in the end. 

So I keep going. I keep pushing. Though sometimes it's painful and sometimes it seems like just walking would be easier, I keep pressing toward a Higher goal.

Isn't this how we all feel in life? Wouldn't it just be easier to quit sometimes? Just walk for a little bit.

Walking through this life is the temptation that Satan will always dangle in front of you.

Don't. Don't walk. Run. 

Run as fast as you can toward your goals. Run as fast as you can toward serving others. Run toward the good. Run toward change. Run toward the arms of Christ. Run for those who can't. Run for those who may never get the chance. Just run.

From day one of this training to today 

I love myself and I hate myself

Title of this post is unapologetically brought to you by Harvard Sailing Team. If you haven't ever seen it, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY and go watch it on YouTube.

Now, I don't know about you, but I get kind of obsessed with things. Wanna be a baker? YES, obsessed. Wanna be the best teacher in the world? YES, obsessed. Wanna be a Suzy Homemaker? YES, obsessed. Active health enthusiast? Obsessed. Play guitar? Make a career of modpodging everything? Be a tree farmer? OBSESSED, OBSESSED, OBSESSED.

I think you get it. I get an idea - run with it like a mad woman - then fizzle out - find something new to be obsessed with.

You know what my problem is? I put my self worth in all these sorts of things, then when I see that I may not be THEABSOLUTEBESTEVER at it, I say uh… Nevermind. BYE. On to something new.

There is nothing wrong with being passionate about a bunch of different things and there's nothing wrong with trying new things.
There is a problem when you put who you are into these things. Because when you fail - and you WILL fail at things in life - you get the feeling and insecurity at failing at who you are. 

Let me give you some examples:

Example A:
I have started a new self-improvement, exercise plan, nutrition plan, etc, etc. about 3,492,214 times.

And then, whenever I eat a half pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream - BECAUSE I WILL - I say well forget it! I failed. I suck. I'll try again some other time to do this perfectly. 

And I keep starting over. and over. and over. and over. and over.

When really I could just say to myself, "Well that was a slip up, but it's fine! I'm strong. I'm capable of not slipping up again tomorrow." But I don't. I feel guilty and frustrated at my lack of perfection, and then just sorry for myself. 

Example B:
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a teacher. It is a passion rooted deep within me and I know God made me to do it.

But hey, did you know? Have you heard? TEACHING IS HARD. Do you know what it feels like to have your career depend on the performance of children? Now I wouldn't trade it for the world but do you know what happens when you put your self worth in the children you teach?

You feel like a failure. Every day. Because a student won't understand how you taught something, or they will roll their eyes at you when you give instructions, or they will whisper and pass notes while you're talking, or they will forget what they learned yesterday, or they will fail a test that you reviewed every question and you have to just be like….

Till the end of the day when your like…

BOTTOM LINE - It's time to stop putting self worth into things I can't control and instead into the unchanging, unwavering, rock of the Lord. 

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

God knit me together. My health doesn't knit me together. My teaching career doesn't knit me together. Nor does anything else I decide to put my self worth into. 

So here I am, declaring a couple of things so that I won't throw my hands up shouting "I'm done" every time I fall short - because I will fall short. I want to be a woman of persistence. 

I'm running a half marathon on April 26th.

Yes. I'm declaring it. I've been wanting to ever since the last one I ran almost 3 years ago, and every time I get slightly off my training plan - I quit. But this time I'm doing it. There will be times I don't get all my training runs in, but I'm doing it. And yes, I'm so out of shape AGAIN, that I'm starting from the rock bottom of 1 mile endurance. 

I'm letting go of the fact I can't save every student I ever have.

I do a small self-torture routine every day when I feel like I'm not reaching every single student and changing the world instantly. Oh, also the STARR test pressure really sucks. SO from now on I'm just going to keep teaching my booty off every day and being the most positive light I can. And when student's don't care what I have to say - because the won't - I'm not going to let that discourage me from coming back and doing it all again tomorrow with even more enthusiasm. 

I want to always have goals and work toward them not because they will define me, but because The Lord gave me the strength, health, knowledge, and ability to do so and glorify Him through the process.

On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.

So what are you letting define your self worth? What is unavoidably failing you and making you feel like you are failing? What steps could you take to let your goals and passions empower you instead of discourage you?