I will say, that there is no doubt my love for Judson after this year is stronger and deeper than I even knew it could be on our wedding day. He is my absolute best friend. We have our ups and we have our downs, but he is my constant. He is something I KNOW I can count on every. single. day.
In all honesty, being married for 365 days doesn't feel too much different than being married for 300 days, 200 days, or even 100 days. It has always felt right. Our lives have changed A LOT in our first year of marriage. We both graduated college, got our first real jobs, moved to a new town unknown to both of us, learned how to be an adult. Even with all that change, Judson and Elizabeth are still Judson and Elizabeth to each other. Does that make any sense? Maybe you just have to live it to know it.
Anyway, before I go any further here is Judson's letter to me on our anniversary:
My sweet wife,
This has been the absolute greatest year of my life! I know I don't always show it and I may take you for granted a lot of the time, but I really do need you. This life that we have started creating goes all the way back to those first walks we had. I was filthy in sin and lost in every which way and YOU were the one to give me your hand and help me out of that mess. I will never forget that in all the years that we live! You are spiritually the strongest person I have met. You continue to push me in my faith without even knowing it. I owe you the world and I intend to make that up to you throughout my life. You are still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Our babies are going to be so adorable! But they will be that way because you're the most caring and loving woman I have ever met. You will always be the greatest thing to ever happen to me and our children will know it. They will get all of their good qualities from you except their humor, that's from me! haha just kidding.
Seriously there is no one I would rather spend my life with than you and I appreciate you for all of my crap that you have put up with. Im sorry for being so stubborn, difficult, and grumpy because I could NOT do this thing called life without you.
I love you so so much and cannot wait to start the first year of our official adult life with you. I know the move was hard, but trust me I'll always take care of you. Because I need you more than you need me. You are my angel sent from God above and I love you so much.
-J
So, yeah I was bawling my eyes out while I read it. He's really great.
Now before you think, "This girl is a freak, why is she sharing this personal detail about her life with the world?"
I'm sharing it with you because just like you read in there we aren't perfect. our marriage is not perfect. The world needs to know that when God made marriage, He didn't intend for us to do it perfectly.
Our love and life is OUR fairytale and 80% of the time it feels like a fairytale, but 20% of the time it is HARD WORK. Love is a feeling but it is also a choice. I have ALL THE GOOD FEELS for Judson and I know vice versa. But sometimes we feel pissed, annoyed, fussy, or whatever instead of ALL THE GOOD FEELS and that's when love becomes a choice. We choose to love each other through all the crap life brings, including each other's crappy sides.
This is what is true in our love no matter the feels or the choice, there is no fear. I have no doubts that he will ever try to quit this or me. He never has tried since day 1 of us crushing on each other. When we stood in front of all of our family and friends and vowed to love each other until death due us part, there wasn't an insert of UNLESS we start to drive each other insane, life changes too much, we drift too far apart, things become too hard, we disagree on too many things, to many mistakes have been made, etc. There is NO UNLESS to us. And after all, isn't that how the Lord intended earthly love to be? An extension of His love for us. Unconditional.
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