Calling All Women

Here's the deal, ladies, we have a problem. No matter if you look like this:

or like this:

We all pick ourselves apart.

Some are loud about their insecurities, making them into a joke. Hurry, say something funny about how much weight you've gained before they notice on their own! Comment on your hair roots with wit so they KNOW you are aware you have them!

Some are quiet about them. Only tearing themselves apart in private when they are getting ready in front of the mirror. Wishing, hoping, fantasizing about looking better. Whatever they imagine better being.

Gah, my life would be so much better if I could just change ________ about myself!! Do you realize how much money and time we spend on things to try and make us look "better"? Secrets and tricks of the trade to enhance our appearance. What is our end goal? When will we feel satisfied, dare I say even HAPPY, with how we look? And if/when we get there, how long will it last?

Even more devastating than our appearances, we even pick ourselves apart from the outside to the inside. Heart issues. Why aren't I in _____ place in my life yet? What's wrong with me? Am I doing things wrong?

I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of failing to measure up, a feeling of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it - something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling of failing of failing at who she is. I am not enough and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is shame, the universal companion of women. It haunts us, nipping at our heals, feeing on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone. 

After all, if we were better women - whatever that means - life wouldn't be so hard. Right? 

We feel unseen… unsought… uncertain… Aware of our deep failings, we pour contempt on our own hearts for wanting more. 
(Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge)

What a dangerous game wanting more is. It's a like poison in our brains that manifests itself.

Good news!! Being thankful is the antidote.

Here's the other problem we women have, we all have an unspoken competition with each other.

We judge, OH WE JUDGE, to no end. Even to other women that WE LOVE.
Not only do we judge them for whatever we think up to be their faults, we also put them down for it.

And if judging them silently wasn't enough, we also do it out loud. GOSSIP!

You know why we all love the movie Mean Girls so much!? BECAUSE WE ARE ALL MEAN GIRLS. It is the story of all of our lives in some round about way. Some more subtle, some more intense.

You know why we do this to each other, right? We do it in efforts to lift ourselves up a little bit.
Ugh, I've been so unproductive today, but she looks horrible in this picture so that makes me feel a little better. 
I haven't accomplished any of my goals yet, but this girl looks like her life is falling apart so at least I'm not THAT bad. You know the drill, insert whatever circumstance that goes on in your head.
For example, today I saw a woman who was a complete stranger and she was GORGEOUS. I mean her outfit was spot on for her perfect body type and I immediately thought in my head Oh my gosh, she is so pretty, I hate her. 

Ladies, can we all just give each other A BREAK. We are all on the same team here.

Psalm 139:14 says "I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made"
Do we really speak this over ourselves? Do we speak this Truth over other women, who are also fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator?

I want to encourage us all to start praying for God to change our hearts to being positive, uplifting women to ourselves and others. Come on! Let's do it!

365 days of marriage

How can it be a year of being husband and wife already?! And in the same way, how can it ONLY be one year that we've been married. Funny how life makes you think that way. Well you're in for a real treat this blog post because it will mostly be Judson's words from a letter he gave me on our anniversary.

I will say, that there is no doubt my love for Judson after this year is stronger and deeper than I even knew it could be on our wedding day. He is my absolute best friend. We have our ups and we have our downs, but he is my constant. He is something I KNOW I can count on every. single. day.

In all honesty, being married for 365 days doesn't feel too much different than being married for 300 days, 200 days, or even 100 days. It has always felt right. Our lives have changed A LOT in our first year of marriage. We both graduated college, got our first real jobs, moved to a new town unknown to both of us, learned how to be an adult. Even with all that change, Judson and Elizabeth are still Judson and Elizabeth to each other. Does that make any sense? Maybe you just have to live it to know it.

Anyway, before I go any further here is Judson's letter to me on our anniversary:

My sweet wife, 
This has been the absolute greatest year of my life! I know I don't always show it and I may take you for granted a lot of the time, but I really do need you. This life that we have started creating goes all the way back to those first walks we had. I was filthy in sin and lost in every which way and YOU were the one to give me your hand and help me out of that mess. I will never forget that in all the years that we live! You are spiritually the strongest person I have met. You continue to push me in my faith without even knowing it. I owe you the world and I intend to make that up to you throughout my life. You are still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Our babies are going to be so adorable! But they will be that way because you're the most caring and loving woman I have ever met. You will always be the greatest thing to ever happen to me and our children will know it. They will get all of their good qualities from you except their humor, that's from me! haha just kidding. 

Seriously there is no one I would rather spend my life with than you and I appreciate you for all of my crap that you have put up with. Im sorry for being so stubborn, difficult, and grumpy because I could NOT do this thing called life without you. 

I love you so so much and cannot wait to start the first year of our official adult life with you. I know the move was hard, but trust me I'll always take care of you. Because I need you more than you need me. You are my angel sent from God above and I love you so much.
-J

So, yeah I was bawling my eyes out while I read it. He's really great.

Now before you think, "This girl is a freak, why is she sharing this personal detail about her life with the world?"
I'm sharing it with you because just like you read in there we aren't perfect. our marriage is not perfect. The world needs to know that when God made marriage, He didn't intend for us to do it perfectly.

Our love and life is OUR fairytale and 80% of the time it feels like a fairytale, but 20% of the time it is HARD WORK. Love is a feeling but it is also a choice. I have ALL THE GOOD FEELS for Judson and I know vice versa. But sometimes we feel pissed, annoyed, fussy, or whatever instead of ALL THE GOOD FEELS and that's when love becomes a choice. We choose to love each other through all the crap life brings, including each other's crappy sides.

This is what is true in our love no matter the feels or the choice, there is no fear. I have no doubts that he will ever try to quit this or me. He never has tried since day 1 of us crushing on each other. When we stood in front of all of our family and friends and vowed to love each other until death due us part, there wasn't an insert of UNLESS we start to drive each other insane, life changes too much, we drift too far apart, things become too hard, we disagree on too many things, to many mistakes have been made, etc. There is NO UNLESS to us. And after all, isn't that how the Lord intended earthly love to be? An extension of His love for us. Unconditional.

Oops, we did it again

Brittany Spears couldn't have said it any better than by, "oops I did it again".

I posted about a month ago about a stray kitten we found under our porch. She was really sick and after multiple vet visits, her little body just couldn't fight any longer. When she died we were really, REALLY, almost irrationally, sad. She was the sweetest little thing and we just fell in love.

she's the little fuzz ball in that towel on my lap

After she passed away we decided that we are NEVER taking in stray pets again. It just breaks your heart! Only healthy, taken care of pets from now on.

Ever since then we have been searching for a new kitten at animal shelters. We hadn't had any luck. No kitten seemed like the right one.

On Wednesday this week I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the carpet in our sunroom where Rylee had an accident from drinking too much river water and who knows what else while we were at the family reunion. All the sudden I hear our garage door open which means JUDSON IS HOME. It was way too early for him to be done with football camp, hmmm.. He opens the door and says, "Baaaaaabe, I found something."

I walk to the door and see him holding A PUPPY IN A BOX. This puppy was running all over the football field during their camp so Judson went and grabbed him and asked the houses around the field if it was their dog. No one claimed him so he brought him home! We started calling him Scout because he was clearly scouting the San Saba Armadillo Football Team.

No more pictures!!!

He had no collar and was covered in fleas. I washed him up and fed him, and we talked about taking him to the shelter because NO STRAY PETS FOR US ANYMORE. REMEMBER?!

And then we.. uh.. started really liking him.

And by liking him I mean LOVING him.

butt sniffing

HE'S SO LITTLE.

He's currently sleeping on my arm while I type this. To prove it, here's a webcam picture.

So…..